There are times when I see a person, a story, an opinion, or an image, and I instantly make assumptions or judgments about it. These can range from “Well, that’s stupid” to “That person is fat, how can they wear that?” to other thoughts ranging in length and severity. Immediately afterward, I scold myself and remind myself that it isn’t my place to make judgments on people or things I know nothing about, especially if I wasn’t asked.
It took me a long time to learn that I wasn’t a bad person when I thought these things. What was actually happening was that I’d been conditioned my whole life to think certain things by the media and society. Those thoughts and judgments weren’t really mine—they were what I’d been unconsciously trained to think. The thoughts that came directly afterward—the scoldings and reminders—those were mine. Those were my conscious efforts to unlearn those biases.
One of the most important lessons I’ve ever learned is that thoughts like those don’t make me a bad person. They just make me a product of a society that needs to change. I’m already taking the first step by acknowledging those biases and correcting them whenever I notice them.
I want you all to understand that you aren’t bad people if you’ve also had these disrespectful thoughts without meaning them. It’s not your fault. It’s society’s fault. By acknowledging that, we can allow ourselves to step up and start making real change.