I’ve never been in a romantic long-distance relationship, but I have had a lot of long-distance friendships with people from as far away as Russia and the Philippines. I know these are not easy to maintain, especially with time zone differences, and often, you just lose touch. I started making online friends at about age 13, and 15 years later I’m still doing it, although now it’s on Tumblr instead of Neopets.
For me, at least, it’s easier in terms of starting the friendship and interacting. There’s no awkward stage of just getting to know someone, passing by them and saying hi occasionally until you hit it off. With my online friends, it was diving straight into a conversation about a shared interest or even giving personal advice before actually introducing ourselves.
But then there’s the pesky time zones. Sometimes you log on just long enough to say good night to someone across the world, and they wish you good morning before they go to bed. It’s especially inconvenient if either person is working or going to school, so summer is often the best time for online conversations because people stay up late and aren’t gone all day.
For years, my best friend was online. We met once, sent each other presents, Skyped, and texted. I’d never been so close to anyone in my life, but then she got a full-time job and I started at university full-time, so talking is now pretty rare. I still consider her a friend, but we don’t stay up late to talk anymore, even with just a two-hour time difference.
Like real life, online friendships have different levels to them. Besides the person who was my best friend, there’s also the casual friends and acquaintances. Each level is unique and different from its in person equivalent, but each is just as much, if not more, fun as it is in person.
They can fade, of course, but then so do in-person friendships. I don’t even know what my friends from when I was 13 are doing these days, if they still live in the same place, or even how to contact any of them. I still think about them sometimes and wonder how they’re doing, just as one does when thinking about the elementary or preschool friends one has lost touch with over the years.
Online friendships are rough, the timing can be challenging, and they sometimes don’t last, but overall, they can be incredibly rewarding and bring a lot of joy.