As the dog days of summer roll by, an ever-increasing amount of people find themselves lost on how to fill their time. What’s more, finding a way to fill it with something besides a neon screen is becoming harder and harder. To combat these new age woes, I have delved into the pastimes of yesteryear in order to find the perfect solution. Through countless hours of research, experimentation, and prayer, I have found the antidote: rollerblading.
In addition to being a fantastic workout and method of transportation, blading allows the wearer to travel back to a time of innocence, where the worries of the world could be solved by six wheels and the road underneath them.
The rolling revolution is on the rebound, so lace up those skates and get to blading. Watch your peers stare jealously as you effortlessly glide down the boulevard with the ease of a falcon through an afternoon sky. This jealousy will only be compounded as the blades carve your calves and glutes into thick cuts of marble.
To add to the ambiance, throw a jukebox onto your shoulder and take the party with you, or if you’re on the shyer side, a cassette tape and headphones work fine.
If speed is key, throw on some spandex and an aerodynamic helmet and rocket past cyclists and e-bikers alike. The brighter the color and the more complex the pattern, the better.
Whilst blading can allow the rider to achieve incredible heights, it is important not to fly too close to the sun. Pace yourself while training, as the only thing more embarrassing than falling on skates is trying (and failing) to get back up.
Finally, chuckle to yourself over your past reliance on your phone as you blissfully blade through the summer months.